The Idiot Spouse

What a 'loaded' title! Who am I to call someone an 'idiot'?

You say that I don't know your spouse well enough to call him/ her that? - Well, you're correct. I don't.
But, who says that I was referring to your partner and not you?

Okay. Here's the scoop.

You look at your husband or wife and see their faults as well as their great qualities. And, yes, they undoubtedly will occasionally pull some bone-head move. And, at those times, you call them an idiot. It's deserved, you say.

They went to the market for bread and came home with a lot of groceries, but no bread. You asked them to do the wash on cold cycle, but they ran it on hot, so everything shrank. You told them to fax paperwork to a client of yours and they faxed over evidence that you are looking to dump them in favor of one of their competitors.  You have them pick-up take-out and, don't you just know it... They forgot to have the salad dressing put on the side.

So, of course, they deserve to be called an 'idiot'! Perhaps even 'stupid'!

Okay. But let me ask when was the last time that they called you one? Never, you say? Because you don't do such dumb stuff?

Perhaps that is the case. - Or, is the truth that they don't dare to? Because of the wrath that they would endure from doing it? Or the cold shoulder that they would receive?
Perhaps, their 'idiot' moves involve tasks that they typically don't perform. And, they don't have you do things that are out of your comfort zone or range of experience.

Perhaps you deny calling them this name. Do you have another pet name? One that still shows your disgust for their ineptitude?

Or, perhaps, you are like Debra in Everybody Loves Raymond.  In so many episodes, she calls Ray an 'idiot'. But, in one episode, they both decided to treat one another nicer. And that included her no longer calling him the 'i'-word. - But, true to form, Ray did something that he shouldn't have. And, he accused her of calling him 'idiot'. Debra denied it saying she hadn't spoken a word. But he remarked that her eyes screamed it out at him.
And, he was correct.

So, what's my point here? (I could call you an 'idiot' for not getting it, but that wouldn't be nice or fair.)

I have several to make. First, no one, including you want to be called such a name, even if you did something foolish and regrettable. Especially by someone who has supposedly committed themselves to them for 'better or worse'. -  Second, folks know when they pulled a major-league boner. They don't need it rubbed in. - Third, there are many ways that you can humiliate or insult your wife or husband. Verbally. Eye motions. Other facial expressions.  A groan.

Bottom-line is that we all are capable of making mistakes. Especially when doing something that we have little or no experience with. Or, when we are distracted by more important matters. - Cut your spouse the slack that you would want given to you. If you ever made such mistakes, that is.

'Nuff said!

Russell Irving is a media-acclaimed, expert on Single Life, Marriage, and more. – His book, Improve Your Marriage – Don’t Overlook The Obvious applies to couples in a longterm relationship and is available through book retailers such as Amazon.com and the book’s companion website,
www.DontOverlookTheObvious.com . Check out his YouTube channel, ImprovingMarriages. His Facebook page is Russell Irving.