Mom, Listen To Me! 5 Cues of School Day Trauma
Guest Blog Post by Richard S. Stripp, Sr., author of “Mommy, I Wish I Could Tell You What They Did To Me In School Today”.
DID YOU EVER WONDER IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO YOUR CHILD AT SCHOOL AND WISHED THAT THEY CAN TELL YOU? WELL, MAYBE THEY ARE AND YOU’RE NOT LISTENING.
“Just because I can’t talk like you doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to hear what I am saying.”
“We have a lot to say. Some of us may not be able to learn to talk but all of you can learn to listen, even if that involves something other than using your ears.”
“We have a lot to say. Some of us may not be able to learn to talk but all of you can learn to listen, even if that involves something other than using your ears.”
The above two quotes were “spoken” by children in the book, “Mommy, I Wish I Could Tell You What They Did To Me In School Today”.
We, as parents, caregivers, educators, etc. have to learn to “listen” to special needs children, especially if they are non-verbal. Far too many people are very quick to dismiss a behavior that they are witnessing on the part of a special needs child as something other than what it may be. It is important to remember that all behavior is communicative. What some may perceive as a child just misbehaving may very well be the child attempting to tell you something. It is their way of communicating with you.
Listed below are some examples:
1. Just prior to their school bus arriving in the morning, a special needs student hides their shoes or throws them in the garbage. Witnessing this, should Mom yell at the child and/or punish them? Is the child just acting out and misbehaving because of their age or because they are spoiled? Or, is the child trying to tell Mom something? Does the child not want to get on the school bus because of what happens to them at school?
2. Once on the school bus, before arriving at school, the child takes off all of their clothes. Is the child acting out, trying to be funny or trying to tell someone something?
3. During the course of the school day, the child has gym class. They go to gym without any problem or resistance. However, as gym class ends, and the other students exit to go to art class, the child drops to the floor, refusing to get up. Does the child not want to leave gym class or not want to go to art class? What is the child saying and, more importantly, why?
4. When the child gets home from school, what is the child’s mood? Did the child go to school happy and come home angry, sad or frightened? What is the child telling you about their day at school by the mood that they’re in? Show the child individual pictures of their teachers, aides and other students. Talk to them about the person in the picture and watch very closely the child’s reaction. What are they saying to you?
5. The loudest voice you may ever hear from a child may come from a mark on their body. Whether it is a scratch, cut, bruise, bump, abrasion or a discoloration of the skin, investigate and listen to what is being said to you. Many times you will be offered explanations by someone at the school as to the reasons of why a particular injury occurred. Sometimes no explanation will be given. In either case, make sure that you are fully satisfied with “what did or didn’t happen”. A harsh reality is accepting the fact that sometimes you may not be told the truth. Also, the explanation given to you as to how and why a child has a mark on their body may be the staff member’s interpretation and may not necessarily be accurate.
(An example of this could be you being told that a mark on a child’s body is a result of self-injurious behavior. While that may be the case, why did the child act out that way? Was it in response to how they were being treated? Was it in response to some type of physical discomfort that the child was experiencing that the staff was unaware of?)
These are just a few examples of how our children may “speak” to us. It is our responsibility to learn to listen and to make the necessary adjustments and/or changes to insure our children’s safety; to insure that our children are treated with the dignity and the respect that they deserve. You hear what I’m saying?
Richard S. Stripp, Sr.
http://www.mommyiwish.com/
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